Street Fighter IV - Pre-emptive Dismay

Why aren't we more excited about the prospect of Street Fighter IV?

We are a little bit excited. Street Fighter III was pretty good, but nobody wanted to play as any of the new characters, all the Super Arts and EX moves were terribly complicated, and I personally haven't got the mental capacity to learn all these things. I just wanted 3 or 4 special moves for each character, so it's like a nice easy game to learn, like chess, or Buckaroo.

I bet it's full with as many characters as could fill a small country, and 80% of them are dicks. They'll all have dreary reasons for wanting to win the tournament, none of the heart-warming tales of woe, like Dhalsim just trying to raise some money for disadvantaged blind orphans, or Zangief fighting to show the world how powerful mother Russia is/was.

Beat-em-ups used to be the best things ever, now they're just for twats who know how to pull off 39 hit combos before the round has even started; they'll be the same twats who dress up like characters from their favourite manga. I hate them. They're ruining the things I quite like.