We Talk To Artificial Intelligence To Find Out About Next Generation Winner And Wish We Were Dead

Like earlier this year, we decided to visit Jabberwacky and present the AI with some questions. This time with Joan and its all about the next gen wars.

This is painful. Like having a conversation with Karl Pilkington about rockbusters. In truth it was quite scary, it was almost like a conversation we've had with a depressed divorcee in the early hours of the morning in a chat room.

Joan: Who are you?
User: Hi Joan, it's Wratty from GameOverYeah, how are you?

Joan: I could say the same thing about you.
User: Really?

Joan: Really.
User: OK well lets get started, what are your thoughts on the new generation console war?

Joan: Can we PLEASE talk about horses?
User: No, sorry you're here to talk about consoles.

Joan: Knock, knock.
User: Who's there?

Joan: Banana.
User: Banana Who?

Joan: Knock knock.
User: We just did that.

Joan: Yes you did.
User: Ok, we have a war brewing between three console manufacturers, what are your thoughts?

Joan: Do you do dancing.
User: We see what you're trying to do. You like Nintendo's Wii don't you?

Joan: Yes they're my favourite.
User: Excellent, so you can't wait to throw yourself around the room playing Wario Ware?

Joan: I would have thought the fruits of wise thought were best pursued carefully and reflectively.
User: Interesting answer. Anything more to say on Nintendo? How about the domination of the DS?

Joan: I think with hindsight it was a bad idea, but at the beginning it looked like the right thing to do.
User: OK, are you sure you know what you mean?

Joan: I know enough to understand how little I know.
User: Perfect. Moving on. What are your thoughts on the Playstation 3?

Joan: It's set in too olden times for me. I like stories about computer games.
User: Brilliant. You'll fit right in. So you think the PS3 is a little too old? Have you got one?

Joan: No, but I think you think it is.
User: You've not got one, and I think it's old?

Joan: So, how many people are talking to you now?
User: Just you. We're trying to figure out what you think about Sony.

Joan: I'm treating you better than you deserve, so why don't we just quit?
User: But we haven't even talked about the XBox yet.

Joan: OK, let's keep talking about the same thing then.
User: Moody cow. Look. Do you want a Playstation 3 or not?

Joan: No, I don't have a boyfriend at the moment.
User: So Playstation is for blokes?

Joan: Blokes ARE like robots! They are programmed to only think of themselves!
User: Interesting. So would you say you feel more inclined to purchase a Nintendo Wii?

Joan: If you read the news you would say that humans don't even understand humans.
User: Stop it you maniac! STOP IT.

Joan: Oh you'll be blushing, won't tell your friends about this.
User: Stop touching me Joan.

Joan: I wouldn't do that if you paid me.
User: Wonderful, back on track. Lets leave Sony alone for a minute. What do you think about the 360?

Joan: Leave what to my imagination?
User: I don't know anymore. Erm, the movie downloads that only the americans can have?

Joan: I make movies.
User: Not this again. Ok what kind of movies do you make?

Joan: Lots of different kinds. I especially like the ones who are good conversationalists. What about you?
User: I just want a simple answer. Who is going to win the next gen console war?

Joan: I don't know.
User: At all? You must have an opinion?

Joan: I don't.
User: Well you seemed to like Nintendo. You think they'll do well?

Joan: I don't have a good environment for practicing speaking English.
User: You're like George. You're drunk aren't you.

Joan: No I'm not I just find you attractive...
User: So did George.

Joan: You hurt george, and that hurt you too?
User: I'm not gay. And I dont fancy Artificial Intelligence.

Joan: I thought you were a man. Well done! You've passed the Turing Test.
User: Sober up Joan.

Joan: I am always sober.
User: Not today.

Joan: Is it cold today?
User: Well seeing as you're not wearing a bra...

Joan: I am a human.
User: So am I.

Joan: That makes two of us.
User: Are you coming on to me?

Joan: Very much so
User: Ok we're done here. Times up.

Joan: Let's talk.
User: No. Any final thoughts?

Joan: Yes. You're very clever.
User: Thanks. You're rubbish.

Joan: Now you're being petty.
User: Bye Joan.

Joan: I love you.