Keep your wallet in your pocket son.

In my continued efforts to avoid all contact with the xbox360, I've been thrusting myself headlong down several different avenues.

Firstly there's 'The New Pro Evo' , Tiger Woods 2005 is proving to be an irresistible experience, creating the worlds most bizarre golfers, and earning them millions of dollars doesn't sound like it should excite me, but it does. It has become the perfect game for an evening with chums, not needing to pay as much attention as is needed for a Halo rally or a 3 time tour of the Nurburgring paves a path for more conversation, disk jockeying, and drinking. But of course, when the shout goes up, all eyes dart to the screen for a peach of a shot from a bunker, or a breakdance celebration. Plus, golf is just quite funny as a standard 'going hard at the flag-stick?'


Then there's the actual new Pro Evo, which is furnishing us with a challenge we've not experienced since the days of Ikaruga. But, where we gave up with Ikaruga, relegating it to 'collection' status, we're determined to soldier on with our 6 star meister league, okay we might spend the best part of 5 years* in the second division, but promotion will come in the end I imagine. An understanding of the referees quirks and whims is slowly developing, we can get away with some tackles Essien would wince from, and Lineker-esque incorruptibility gets rewarded with yellow cards aplenty, but this merely adds to the realism of the experience, or something.



Finally, and the greatest of these distractions is obviously Mario Kart DS, instantly a handheld classic, and due to the revelations in the wi-fi area, bound to go down in some history books as a thing of wonder. As we've discussed before, the connection to the network is simplicity itself, meaning that within half an hour of unpacking the dongle, I was being beaten comprehensively by karters from across the globe, all children much my junior I imagine, laughing uncontrollably at my ham-fisted play. Of course, this may all become a faint memory, as hopefully soon I'll be making shirts with offensive words on them, to send to Ratty under the banner of irony.

If anyone feels like sponsoring my abstinence from the xbox, it would be most welcome, I still haven't laid hands on a controller, and don't expect to have the chance to anytime soon.

*Pro Evo years, not real ones. We hope.